Fried Green Bananas

My first official event was a casual dinner party at the original Banana Leaf on Broadway. I chose this event because I knew the restaurant, the area and it fit into my comfort zone. I wanted to start with something where I already had a familiarity.

I arrived a little early and met with our host, who made me feel instantly at ease. She was easy to talk to, even for an introvert like me, and all smiles. She introduced me to each member, as they arrived, which was nice.

One of the first things I noticed was the ratio of woman to men swung in favour of the gentlemen;  Of the twelve members that attended, seven were women and five were men. I guessed that around a third of the members were also within five years of my age.

I'm not an overly chatty person and I tend not to go up to random people in bars or clubs and start conversations, so I was a little worried it would be difficult to engage - Not the case. 

Other members started most conversations. That was really cool. Everyone there was super friendly and interested in having a good time.

The food was served 'family style' and each dish was passed around the table. I liked this approach. It wasn't like we each picked our own dish and waited for it to arrive. We were sharing - not only the food, but our opinions on each dish.

The crab course afforded the most entertainment. I worked at my claw for about five minutes using the crabbing tools provided. My yield was low, so I eventually abandoned them and went with my hands. I was relieved to see that other members had already adopted this method. By the end of the crab round, at least five people in our party were now wearing part of the meal - six if you include me.

I definitely noticed that out of all the tables in the restaurant, ours laughed the most. I thought that said a lot…

By the time we paid our bills, I had had conversations with four different girls, devoured what seemed like a 12 course meal and had chosen my next event.

Third Floor: Adventure and Men's Wear

I was a little unsure what to expect going into my first meeting with Rey, the Membership Director at Vancouver's Events and Adventures office. I had looked at the site online, read some of the reviews, had my first phone call, but I was still slightly nervous about the whole procedure.

My meeting was for 2:00 and I arrived at 1:30. I gave myself loads of extra time, just on the off chance the office was hard to find. I nervously paced outside, watching the Vancouver business crowd bob and weave through the tourists. I checked my Facebook, my Twitter and my email. With ten minutes to go I entered the office tower and immediately stepped into a waiting elevator. Tip for anyone visiting the downtown Vancouver location: the first bank of elevators only go to floors ten and above.

I came back down and found the one heading for the lower floors.

Upon entering the E&A office, the first thing you notice is the colour: Yellow, bright and welcoming. This immediately put me at ease. Somehow in my mind I had envisioned a room with reds and white.

The secretary was super nice and lead me to Rey's office a few steps away.

After initial introductions, we sat down and started talking about sports and common interests. We talked about the Vancouver dating scene, awkward moments and the strain of trying to find someone special. We talked about the benefits of meeting new people and the thrill of throwing yourself into new experiences.

I even learned a new word, limerence: the fleeting desire for reciprocated emotional and physical lust. Limerence is often the foundation for relationships that start at the bar or in a chance encounter. The problem with limerence is it's natural tendency to fade over time.

Healthy relationships form from shared interests and common character traits. These preserve the feelings of desire and keep couples together.

It was an interesting chat.

We also looked at the calendar of events and I saw over fifteen activities that really intrigued me, things I would never do alone. And that was that. A quick membership form and I signed up for my first event: The Banana Leaf Festival.

Looking forward to sharing some satays and laughs.

The elevator down was a no-brainer.

Stranded on a Peak

A quick story about choosing the right hikingpartner:

At the beginning of September I went on a hike with two female colleagues from work. Both of the girls were on work visas, one from Germany and one from Brazil. I had been out with the Brazilian girl a few times before, but we weren't really dating.

The day of the hike, we got up at 6:00 and made it up to the Cypress Mountain parking lot by 7:30. Our goal was the Lions - the western Peak.

I had driven the girls and also made sandwiches for the three of us. We were well stocked for our full-day adventure.

The morning was beautiful and after a few hours of hiking we were rewarded with some amazing views of Lions Bay. We hadn't met anyone on the trail and had the whole mountain (range) to ourselves. We had a few snacks, took a ton of photos and kept up a quick pace.

After ascending a fairly steep section of rough trail, we made it to the first of the two peaks of Unnecessary Mountain. Again, we stopped to take in the views and drink some water. After about ten minutes we decided to start again. We climbed down about fifteen feet and then I made an innocent step down off a rock and rolled my ankle.

Instantly, I knew it was bad. The girls were very concerned and my Brazilian friend immediately gave me her sock to fill up my boot. I tried walking on it and came to the conclusion I shouldn't go any further. We talked about the situation for about half-an-hour. The girls were very keen to trek on, but I also knew my limitations. The ankle was done and going further, meant a longer hike back.

Then things changed a little… My Brazilian friend started making the point that she would only be on this ridge once in her life. She had seen the Lions every (clear) day on her way into work and was determined to summit them. She wanted to continue. The other girl eventually decided that she too would like to summit.

This was a bit shocking to me, as I just assumed we were hiking together. They asked if I would be ok hiking down on my own and I told them it shouldn't be a problem. That was my pride talking…

I did, however, explain that when I did get down I would need one of them to drive home because of the damage to my right foot. The German girl volunteered and said she would be cool with driving home.

And on that note we split up, the two girls heading for the peak and me heading back with one good foot and a walking stick.

On the way down, the pain increased dramatically. It was nine km back and there were a number of portions where I had to simply inch my way down on my bum. I also lost my way once and had to walk back up a 50 metre section of rough 'trail'.

After about two hours I got a text from the girls:

We are going to lions bay with a guy we just met, he's going to give us a ride to cypress. I call you when we get there ;)

Amazing. The winky face was the kicker.

Fuelled by anger and self-pity I soldiered on.

Three hours later, with less than a km to go, my body started to pack it in. I left the trail and hobbled out onto the Cypress ski run. I could see my destination, but by this point I was moving at a pace of eight metres per minute.

When I finally reached the parking lot, the girls were nowhere in sight. I texted them and they informed me that they would be getting a ride back with their new guide. Aces!

I somehow managed to drive my car back downtown, using the emergency brake at traffic lights and other stops.

When I finally took off my boot, my foot was the size and shape of a CFL football; I went to the hospital the next morning.

The experience taught me a few things about myself and a few things about shared values, or lack thereof. ;)

Currently in the market for a new hiking partner.

Dating Profile

The worst thing about online dating is writing the profile. It's so unnatural.

Alright, I'm going to write three paragraphs about myself. I'll need to make my current job sound ultra important. Probably should mention all the places I've been in the last five years and maybe add a few of the places I wish I've visited. Throw in how many times a week I go to the gym, sprinkle a few pop culture references to show I'm still up on what's relevant and maybe mention I like to read. #HumbleBrag

Nobody dumps that much information on someone when they first meet. It's way more than needed. It kinda takes the whole romance element out of dating. Here's my life story, does it fit magically fit with your life puzzle?

And then there are the private messages… You could spend an hour crafting one, talking about her likes and that silly Halloween costume she wore in one of her photos and then hear nothing. Oh well…

That's why I've given up on them. I'm 36 and single and I am officially turning my back on online dating. Who needs it!

I don't have the time or the patience. I want to be excited about meeting Vancouver singles again, not jaded by the process.

But, I do still want to meet someone.

Yes, I have a notion of who that person is, but no one in my peer group comes close. Same thing at work. Lots of friends, a few that are single, but no one I would be interested in dating.

So where do you meet people? At the bar? No thanks… At the gym? Because I'm there so frequently… Not really the right environment for striking up a conversation. So if none of those work, you end up relying on family and friends to set you up. Been down that road twice and it was clear both times that my friends clearly didn't know me.

So it's back to the computer.

Alright, how do I say I like frisbee golf without sounding like a total nerd…?