Blues To Be There

Two blocks off of Main and Hastings, in one of Vancouver's seedier sections, lies Pat's Pub. Known for its intimate live shows, Pat's is one of the few small venues left in the city for live blues music. The grungy atmosphere inside gives it an authenticity that fits perfectly with the musical genre. The Blues is a grimy business and Pat's profile mirrors the low-down boogie.

We met at 6:30 last Thursday to take in the Steve Kozak Trio at Pat's. The trio, had been expanded to a quartet, all gentleman in the 40+ range. At first glance, they looked more like a folk band, but their music was far from Dylanesque. Moving from one classic blues standard to the next, they proved that the blues was more of a feeling than a photograph.

Our group was the largest at the venue with ten and our numbers grew as the night moved along. We were joined by two new members, which is always fun. I chatted up the girl on my right for most of the night, as we took in the live show. We talked about everything from cycling, to the Canucks, to environmental practices.

Since we arrived at a fairly early hour, we all ordered food, which is little bit of a different experience at Pat's. For one thing, tabs are unheard of. You pay upfront when your food or drink arrives - always in cash. The Blues, apparently, is not a fan of credit.

I ordered the barbecue burger, a messy affair, but when have the Blues ever been clean.

A few of the locals left their seats and moved to the dance floor, but our group was comfortable in our seats.

One individual that caught my eye was a middle aged Asian lady, who walked in around 8:30. She went directly to one of the tables in front of the stage, dropped her coat off and stepped on to the dance floor. With her eyes closed, a man's tie hanging on her chest and the blues in her heart she slipped into a trance, dancing slowly to the music. It was captivating.

Watching her groove, I couldn't help but get my own shoulders moving. I looked around our table to notice I wasn't the only one falling under her spell. The music, the atmosphere, and this little dancer had replaced our workweek worries with an authentic blues experience.

Writing this review, I tried to find a schedule of the events at Pat's. No luck. This got me thinking about the E&A experience. I would have never known about this gig if I hadn't seen it on the Events and Adventures calendar. In fact, I think the only way you would have known was if you were a regular at Pat's. Don't ask me how Ambrea, the events coordinator, found it, but props. It shows the range of options offered by the social club - Marry Poppins on one night, blues on the next.

It pays to have a third party organize your social calendar. Especially when they offer up a grimy dose of Southern blues. Have mercy.

Social Sobriety

Being the only one of my friends who doesn't drink, I often end up handling the driving duties. Apart from the gas bill, taking on the role of the DD is not that bad. You get to decide when everyone leaves, you get to watch your friends make ridiculous accusations about their high school athletic abilities and you get to wake-up on Saturday with the whole day ahead of you.

But, being perpetually sober has its drawbacks - not many, but a few.

Social custom tells us the best place to meet other singles is at the bar. When you don't drink, there's not much point in going to the bar, unless you're driving your compadres. If I go alone, I usually only last about thirty minutes before I am totally bored.

Then there is the attitude dished out by restaurant wait staff who are often miffed that you're not ordering wine or expensive cocktails. "No, just water thank you." I always feel like I have to order dessert or an extra appetizer just to appease the waitress.

And finally, the hook-up factor. No one, that I know of, ever hooked-up after a coffee date. Drinks on the other hand… 

So what are my options? Few.

That's why E&A is so great. The calendar is full of fun group activities, group dates that don't involve getting plastered to try and meet a handful of girls operating under the same veil. There are drinks available at some of the E&A social functions, but it is definitely not the prerequisite for having a good time.

The events on the calendar are all centered on outdoor or indoor fun. I've never felt pressure to drink or been bored with people who were drinking. That's what's cool about a social club. It's not your traditional, go to the bar to meet people set-up. It's more of a, "let's go have a ton of fun doing this random activity with other available singles" kind of vibe. Sounds a lot better doesn't it?

Let the bar-stars enjoy each other’s slurry company. Let E&A take you on an adventure you can look back on with fondness and clarity.

Single Over the Holidays

Ok, Valentines Day is the worst. Being single on V Day is like being lactose intolerant at the Häagen Dazs factory. But, the month leading up to Christmas is without a doubt, the second worst time to be single.

Let's start with the holiday parties. Showing up at an 'ugly sweater party' without a date is as awkward as it gets. Especially, if you only know the host. If you go all out and create your own holiday sweater, people think you're a freak. They know your significant other didn't make it… If you go out and buy a store sweater, you still smell of desperation. Don't wear one and you like Debbie Downer. It's a lose, lose, lose scenario.

Then there are the family functions, where every relative in the room pulls you aside to grill you about why you are still single. "Have you tried online dating," your grandmother asks. "I hear there are nice young women on there who are dying to find a man."

"I bet Grams, but have you ever tried to write an online profile."

Even the office social can be an awkward affair, especially when your boss notices you came alone.

Being single is like the death mark over the holidays.

But there is a silver lining: one less person to shop for. As your friends madly look for that one gift that will remove them from their wives’/girlfriends’ naughty list, you can relax and enjoy another cold beverage. Your pocketbook remains unfazed and your holiday stress level is even flat line. Hakuna matata. First and last Lion King reference; I promise.

And, if you're a member of Events and Adventures, the month of December is full of fun single's activities to make you appreciate your precious freedom. From night tubing, to swing dancing, to the legendary New Year's Bash, Events and Adventures promise 31 days of awkward-free socializing.

Skip the couples’ functions and come join the fun.

And if Grandma grills you again, just tell her you found someone. She couldn’t make the party because she’s volunteering at the Vancouver Food Bank. Tis the season for little ‘white’ lies.

Second Period Scoring Summary

They say never bring up past relationships on a first date and I would probably agree. No one wants to hear about how great, or crazy, your ex was. But I think sharing dating horror stories is never a bad idea. It breaks the ice and puts the other person at ease - 'No matter how bad this date goes, it won' compare to this crazy time when ______________.'

Personally, I think it creates an instant bond, like the trust hormone oxytocin (another blog…). We've all been on terrible dates, so laughing at them creates a common experience. Now, that's not to say you should use it as your opening line. But if the conversation moves that way, why not bring up a funny anecdote about how the cab driver flirted with your date for ten minutes and ended up giving her his phone number.

When asked about my weird dating experiences, my mind instantly goes to '2nd Period Girl.' Here is a quick version of the tale. I hope it brings a laugh and trust me, it was even more awkward at the time…

So I think it was five years ago and I was using an online dating site to meet Vancouver singles. I had been talking to one girl about music and films and we finally arranged to meet for a drink. The day before the date, she called and cancelled. Ok, no problem - reschedule. So after a few more days of talking we booked another time. That day comes, I get ready for the date, hop on a bus (cause we planned to go for a few drinks) and then I get a text… She cancels again. Starting to get a little annoyed.

 A week later she suggests we try once more. I mull it over and decide why not. But, it is a game night - playoffs - and we're playing Chicago. I suggest a sports bar on Commercial and mention the game. She's cool with it. I tell her I'll need to wear my jersey. No problem, she laughs and says she is a diehard fan as well.

The day comes and I head to the bar in my full regalia, minus the face paint. I arrive early and order a beer. She calls and says she is running late. No surprise at this point and I'm just happy to be watching the game in a packed bar.

When she finally arrives, I give her a big smile and a quick hug. But, it is quickly obvious that all her photos from her profile are from a different time period. Like decades ago, when she was significantly thinner and younger looking. 

Now, please don't paint me as shallow, but I was a little disappointed. Probably more thrown by the fact that she had completely misrepresented herself. But, as I mentioned, the game was on, we were in the playoffs and the bar was hopping. I decided to make the most of it.

She sat down and ordered a drink and we engaged in some awkward but fairly natural first-date small talk. I don't really remember what we talked about it, but I remember her being very nervous. I tried to ease the tension and make references to our previous conversations online.

The waitress came by and I ordered some food. My date claimed she wasn't hungry, which was weird cause we had planned to eat. No worries…

The awkwardness continues, the game moves on and the first period finishes. I tell her I need to use the washroom. On my way back, I decide to go outside for a smoke before returning to the table. I have since given up this unhealthy habit, but at the time I needed one and I felt like it wouldn't hurt if I were away from the table for another few minutes.

Apparently, I was wrong.

When I got back, she was obviously annoyed. It had been less than ten minutes, but this girl was pissed. I tried to make more small talk, but her answers to my questions were short, with no follow-up. I gave my attention back to the game.

After a fairly long period of play, the whistle was finally blown and I turned back to her. She was staring at me with death eyes. "You know what," she says, "I'm just gonna go." "Are you sure?" I stuttered. "Yeah," was her answer.

She stood up and put on her coat with me staring in disbelief. "Here's twenty for the drinks," she said, as she proceeded to pull a bill from her purse and literally, from her standing position, throw it on the table.

Like a deer in the headlights, I just stared at her blankly. I think I uttered an 'ok'. And then she stamped out of the bar.

At this point, I took a moment to look around the room. It seems everyone was watching. I lifted my pint and stared into my beer. So embarrassing…

After a few moments the waitress came over and asked if I needed another drink. I said maybe one more. She then leaned down and said in a soft voice: "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, even more embarrassed.

I finished the second period, paid my bill and quietly left.

Outside, I texted a friend who lived a few blocks away and told him I was coming over to watch the third; there's no way it could be more devastating than the second period.

Leave your own awkward dating tale in the comments below.