Second Period Scoring Summary

They say never bring up past relationships on a first date and I would probably agree. No one wants to hear about how great, or crazy, your ex was. But I think sharing dating horror stories is never a bad idea. It breaks the ice and puts the other person at ease - 'No matter how bad this date goes, it won' compare to this crazy time when ______________.'

Personally, I think it creates an instant bond, like the trust hormone oxytocin (another blog…). We've all been on terrible dates, so laughing at them creates a common experience. Now, that's not to say you should use it as your opening line. But if the conversation moves that way, why not bring up a funny anecdote about how the cab driver flirted with your date for ten minutes and ended up giving her his phone number.

When asked about my weird dating experiences, my mind instantly goes to '2nd Period Girl.' Here is a quick version of the tale. I hope it brings a laugh and trust me, it was even more awkward at the time…

So I think it was five years ago and I was using an online dating site to meet Vancouver singles. I had been talking to one girl about music and films and we finally arranged to meet for a drink. The day before the date, she called and cancelled. Ok, no problem - reschedule. So after a few more days of talking we booked another time. That day comes, I get ready for the date, hop on a bus (cause we planned to go for a few drinks) and then I get a text… She cancels again. Starting to get a little annoyed.

 A week later she suggests we try once more. I mull it over and decide why not. But, it is a game night - playoffs - and we're playing Chicago. I suggest a sports bar on Commercial and mention the game. She's cool with it. I tell her I'll need to wear my jersey. No problem, she laughs and says she is a diehard fan as well.

The day comes and I head to the bar in my full regalia, minus the face paint. I arrive early and order a beer. She calls and says she is running late. No surprise at this point and I'm just happy to be watching the game in a packed bar.

When she finally arrives, I give her a big smile and a quick hug. But, it is quickly obvious that all her photos from her profile are from a different time period. Like decades ago, when she was significantly thinner and younger looking. 

Now, please don't paint me as shallow, but I was a little disappointed. Probably more thrown by the fact that she had completely misrepresented herself. But, as I mentioned, the game was on, we were in the playoffs and the bar was hopping. I decided to make the most of it.

She sat down and ordered a drink and we engaged in some awkward but fairly natural first-date small talk. I don't really remember what we talked about it, but I remember her being very nervous. I tried to ease the tension and make references to our previous conversations online.

The waitress came by and I ordered some food. My date claimed she wasn't hungry, which was weird cause we had planned to eat. No worries…

The awkwardness continues, the game moves on and the first period finishes. I tell her I need to use the washroom. On my way back, I decide to go outside for a smoke before returning to the table. I have since given up this unhealthy habit, but at the time I needed one and I felt like it wouldn't hurt if I were away from the table for another few minutes.

Apparently, I was wrong.

When I got back, she was obviously annoyed. It had been less than ten minutes, but this girl was pissed. I tried to make more small talk, but her answers to my questions were short, with no follow-up. I gave my attention back to the game.

After a fairly long period of play, the whistle was finally blown and I turned back to her. She was staring at me with death eyes. "You know what," she says, "I'm just gonna go." "Are you sure?" I stuttered. "Yeah," was her answer.

She stood up and put on her coat with me staring in disbelief. "Here's twenty for the drinks," she said, as she proceeded to pull a bill from her purse and literally, from her standing position, throw it on the table.

Like a deer in the headlights, I just stared at her blankly. I think I uttered an 'ok'. And then she stamped out of the bar.

At this point, I took a moment to look around the room. It seems everyone was watching. I lifted my pint and stared into my beer. So embarrassing…

After a few moments the waitress came over and asked if I needed another drink. I said maybe one more. She then leaned down and said in a soft voice: "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, even more embarrassed.

I finished the second period, paid my bill and quietly left.

Outside, I texted a friend who lived a few blocks away and told him I was coming over to watch the third; there's no way it could be more devastating than the second period.

Leave your own awkward dating tale in the comments below.

Comedy With a Latin Touch

What goes well with Cuban cuisine you ask? A healthy portion of homegrown comedy!

This week I signed up for the Events andAdventures' 'Comedy Night' at Havana's Restaurant on Commercial Drive. There were lots of laughs before, during and after the show, as the E&A crew made the most of our Monday night.

This was by far the most heavily attended event I had been on. Our group was over twenty, with a wide mix of ages. There were so many of us that two of our group had to eat at the bar.

Ambria was the host, who I had met at the Banana Leaf, my first excursion. Once again, she was super friendly and made sure we were all introduced.

Our group was given the back room of Havana's with two average tables and one long one. I sat with some friends I had made at the Extreme Air night and another guy from Wallyball. Two more members joined us at our table.

The menu was a decent mix of Latin food and western fare. I went with something simple: a seafood linguini. I immediately regretted my decision when the woman across from me received her soft tacos; they looked delicious.

The wine was poured with a heavy hand and by the time dinner was over the volume of the conversations at each table was indicative of how much fun we were all having.

Ambria passed out tickets for each of us, along with a Trivial Pursuit card. The cards, we were told, were a part of the show and would be explained inside. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked two of the other members, who had seen "Graham Clark's Laugh Gallery" at a previous event, what the cards were used for. It turns out they were for a prize giveaway. 

To win a prize, Graham had to call your ticket number. You were then instructed to read the host a question from the card. If he successfully answered it, you won a prize pack of retro vintage items.

Audience participation is always cool.

I scanned my question card and decided on asking the TV category question if my number was called. The query and answer were as follows: "Whose memorable TV roles have included T.S. Turner and Bosco Baracus?" The answer of course: "Mr. T."

Around 8:30 we were seated in the small theatre, a separate room at the back of the restaurant. Our group took up about a third of the theatre seats. We were by far the most enthusiastic group there.

Graham Clark introduced the night with a short comedy set and the first prize giveaway. The winner was seated beside our section and she actually gave one of her prizes to a guy from our group who seemed to be keenly interested in one of the memorabilia pieces. A super nice gesture.

As far as the comics were concerned, I thought the night started strong and then lost a little speed with final two comics.

My favourite joke from the evening was from the first entertainer. As Eddie Murphy explains in "Raw," it's never the same retelling a comics joke the next day at the water cooler, but here it goes: 

So my new girlfriend and I are having sex. Thank you, no need to applaud. So I've been going to the pharmacy every couple of weeks to buy condoms. Last week I came home from the pharmacy and my roommate met me in the kitchen. He saw my bag and noticed the box of condoms.
"Why are you buying condoms?" he asked, as if he had never heard of unexpected pregnancies, herpes or AIDS.
"For the obvious reasons," I replied.
"You know they give those things away for free at the clinics. They have big bowls of them in the waiting rooms. You can fill your pockets.""Look," I told him, "they may offer free ketchup packets at McDonalds, but you don't see me filling the fridge with them do you."

Hilarious.

Best night of the week.

It was also nice to see members that I had already met at previous events. Apart from actively looking for someone to date, I feel that E&A is really expanding my social circle. It's also nice to go to events I never even knew existed. Would definitely go back to the Havana Comedy Nights. Next time I’m going with those soft tacos.

Vancouver Style Guide

This post is for all the men out there in their thirties or forties who are struggling with the dating scene. Now, I don't want to come across as an expert in this field because I'm obviously not. But I have been paying attention to some of the advice being past down by my friends, especially from the women I know.

One of things that stands out is the ability to maximize your physical potential. By physical potential I don't mean how ripped your abs are, but hitting the gym never hurt anyone's chances. What I mean by physical potential is spending a little bit of time and money on improving your look. The first thing a woman notices in a man is his physical appearance. Confidence is key, but so is a sense of style, personal grooming and the ability to accessorize. Sounds weird, I know, but if you give it a little thought, the payoff is an extended chance to flirt, which if you play it right, could lead to a phone number.

Sense of Style:

Most women are looking for a man who has a powerful job and the clothes to match. If you don't have the high paying office job, you can still acquire the clothes. A few simple dress shirts, one or two ties, a dark pair of pants and shoes that don't have an athletic or skate design on them is a good start. For fashion ideas, subscribe to GQ magazine. Another forum, if you want to save on the subscription cost, is Pinterest. Follow a few men's fashion pages and try to get an idea of what's trending. You don't have to buy the expensive brand names, you just need to find something similar.

If you're like me, you hate shopping. But if you go in with an idea of what you want, it makes the process easier. I find H&M is a good place to start.

If you already have a style that works for you, no reason to change.

Grooming:

Let's start at the top. Next time you need a haircut, pass on your local barber and make an appointment with a hair stylist. Again, it might sound weird, but these guys know what they're doing. Ask them to show you their tricks so you can replicate the style with product the next time you go out.

If you are rocking a bit of facial hair, spend some time tidying it up. While you're at it, take the tweezers to those few straggling eyebrow hairs and any nose hairs you might have.

Now, this is when it gets tricky. For those of us with man sweaters, you need to trim it back. If you want to go full monty, try a wax job. We've all seen the Forty-Year-Old Virgin, and yes it can be that painful.

Spend some time on your hands. One of the first things a girl notices is your hands. Trim your nails and make sure they're clean.

Then there is the below the belt region… Times have changed. Cut it back. Seriously. You know why...

Accessorize:

There are four personal items that every man needs to invest in: a watch, a belt, a leather wallet and sunglasses.

The watch needs to have a face, the digital Ironman won't do. It doesn't need to be encrusted in rapper bling, but it needs a little shine.

The belt should be simple but smart looking. No western style belt buckles, unless you're heading to the Bourbon for country night.

The wallet needs to be leather. No sense in arguing over this. You need a leather wallet.

Finally, you need a good pair of sunglasses. I don't want to push one brand, but Ray Bans are the most versatile and fashion friendly. You can still rock them on a clear winter day; just don't be that guy who keeps them on past sundown.

Wally Whaaaaat!

Take everything you learned in Physical Education class - bump, set, spike - and throw it away; We came to play no-rules wallyball!

For my fourth event, I signed up for Wednesday night wallyball at Revs. Revs is a multipurpose activity centre in Burnaby, just off Lougheed, near the Holdom Skytrain Station. Its main feature is the bowling alley. With 48 lanes of ten-pin bowling, this is the main attraction. But off to the side of the central complex is a small sports bar and fitness centre. Included in the fitness facility are five racket ball courts, perfect for squash, racket ball or completely uncivilized sports, such as wallyball.

Like many of you reading this, I had never played the sport of wallyball. I assumed it was something like volleyball, but on a closed squash court, where bumping off the walls was optional. What I neglected to include in my description was the chaos of making any sort of hit legal. In the version we played, kicking, punching, bumping, tossing and spiking, were all suitable means of playing the ball. The ball could bounce, or be played live, or be picked up, or booted from the ground. We basically had one rule: the ball needs to go over the net. This rule was frequently broken…

Now you may be thinking: 'How could this be an entertaining sport? Don't rules provide the necessary components to make a game playable.' Turns out rules are for suckers.

In our version, the only objective was to have fun. Without rules, the game never stopped, the ball was always in play and everyone was involved.

Each of us had our own unique style, which constantly evolved as we played. From the baseball swing, to the wall blast, to the reverse bump, our hitting styles were bizarre but effective.

Almost every volley provided a laugh. At one point, four of our players were literally rolling on the court floor laughing. If anyone had been watching through the little window above, they would have assumed a violent stomach virus had suddenly gripped half of our group.

We even had music to accompany the madness. One of the girls brought her iPod and played dance beats through the speaker. I believe there was a crazy version of Thunderstruck at one point. A fitting mashup for the creative mess we made of the sport of volleyball.

As far as making a connection with the female members, I did feel that the two girls who came out to the event were much closer to my age group than the other members I had met at previous events. They were both really fun and attractive. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to talk with them after because I needed to meet a friend. I hope to see them again at other events provided by Events and Adventures.