Self-Examination

The New Year is all about making lists right? #RhetoricalQuestion

This week I thought I would sit down and take a long hard look at why I am still single. Put the kids to bed, this could get ugly.

So, in no particular order, here are some of the major reasons why I believe I am still a single man in Vancouver:

A little past my prime

• At thirty-six, some would say my best years are behind me. Phuhhh! I am actually in the best shape of my life right now. My motivation: health and happiness. Gotta keep that heart ticking along and a steady smile on my face. I definitely enjoy my life more when I'm in shape.

Balding on top

• Yup, my hair is definitely not as motivated as the rest of my body. But the shaved look is sexy. Right? Right??? I mean how majestic is the bald eagle. The king of the skies. The definitive symbol of power in the U.S. The ultimate predator. Ok, that last one sounds really creepy. But look at Common. That's a handsome bald man. Or Bruce Willis, or Michael Jordan, or Billy Corgan. No, Billy Corgan looks like an adult baby. But a little hair deficiency shouldn't hurt my prospects that much.

Lack of confidence

• I've never been smooth socially, but really, who is? Fumbling through life with a smile, I believe, is sexier than walking around with a squinted stare and pursed lips. I mean Clint Eastwood may have spent 40 years walking around like a bad-ass, but think about all the peripheral action he missed out on. Like catching that old man on the bus leaning, or the dog at the park peeing on the stroller, or the cop on Robson doing up his fly. Golden peripheral moments that would be lost to a squinter. What were we talking about? Right, confidence. Who needs it?

Missing the flash

• I drive a Corolla. A classic 94 Corolla with 325,000 kms on it. I make less than 60 grand. I don't own a fancy watch. And my credits cards are often, not always, maxed. But what did Mace say, "Mo money, mo problems." A life less cluttered.

Limited opportunities to meet single ladies

• Vancouver is considered the black hole of dating pools. I agreed with this statement up until a few months ago. But now I get to meet new singles each week. People who are actively looking for partners and others just looking for people to have fun with. Yup, Events and Adventures has opened up a whole new world of opportunity. Saturday I'm going tubing with a whole new group of people!

So why am I single? Unlucky, I guess. But I have a feeling that's about to change. I'll keep you updated.