Self-Examination

The New Year is all about making lists right? #RhetoricalQuestion

This week I thought I would sit down and take a long hard look at why I am still single. Put the kids to bed, this could get ugly.

So, in no particular order, here are some of the major reasons why I believe I am still a single man in Vancouver:

A little past my prime

• At thirty-six, some would say my best years are behind me. Phuhhh! I am actually in the best shape of my life right now. My motivation: health and happiness. Gotta keep that heart ticking along and a steady smile on my face. I definitely enjoy my life more when I'm in shape.

Balding on top

• Yup, my hair is definitely not as motivated as the rest of my body. But the shaved look is sexy. Right? Right??? I mean how majestic is the bald eagle. The king of the skies. The definitive symbol of power in the U.S. The ultimate predator. Ok, that last one sounds really creepy. But look at Common. That's a handsome bald man. Or Bruce Willis, or Michael Jordan, or Billy Corgan. No, Billy Corgan looks like an adult baby. But a little hair deficiency shouldn't hurt my prospects that much.

Lack of confidence

• I've never been smooth socially, but really, who is? Fumbling through life with a smile, I believe, is sexier than walking around with a squinted stare and pursed lips. I mean Clint Eastwood may have spent 40 years walking around like a bad-ass, but think about all the peripheral action he missed out on. Like catching that old man on the bus leaning, or the dog at the park peeing on the stroller, or the cop on Robson doing up his fly. Golden peripheral moments that would be lost to a squinter. What were we talking about? Right, confidence. Who needs it?

Missing the flash

• I drive a Corolla. A classic 94 Corolla with 325,000 kms on it. I make less than 60 grand. I don't own a fancy watch. And my credits cards are often, not always, maxed. But what did Mace say, "Mo money, mo problems." A life less cluttered.

Limited opportunities to meet single ladies

• Vancouver is considered the black hole of dating pools. I agreed with this statement up until a few months ago. But now I get to meet new singles each week. People who are actively looking for partners and others just looking for people to have fun with. Yup, Events and Adventures has opened up a whole new world of opportunity. Saturday I'm going tubing with a whole new group of people!

So why am I single? Unlucky, I guess. But I have a feeling that's about to change. I'll keep you updated.

Stress Relief

Well, it’s week two of my membership with the social club, Events and Adventures. I thought I’d write a little bit about my character and why ‘group dating’ seems like a natural fit.

I'm a nervous person; that's my personal omission of the week. Because of this, dating can be a huge source of anxiety.

I get nervous about what I'm going to talk about on the date, what I'll wear to the date and where we'll go on the date. I stress about it for days leading up to the first meeting. My work suffers and my hours asleep are shortened. It's as if my whole body stiffens with nervous anticipation. When the day finally comes, my face and body are visual evidence of my anxiety.

That's why I think the Events and Adventures club will work out for me. When I signup for an event, I simply add my name to a growing list of people who are interested in a specific activity. I don't have to research for days, trying to find a reputable rental company or a modern tapas bar. They've done that for me. All I need to do is choose what events I'd like to attend from the calendar.

There is suggested attire and directions. There is no back-and-forth texting trying to find an appropriate time; No volleying of date ideas; No confusion about location. The hard work is already done for you.

It makes the dating process super easy and lowers the level of anxiety. When I arrive, I know that the people who are at the event are all interested in having fun. They've chosen the same activity because they enjoy it and it works with their schedule.

With the pressure removed, I can relax and show more of my true self. I can settle into the activity, while chatting with the other members. I don’t have to worry about impressing anyone or managing the chosen event.

I’ve read that attractiveness is tightly tied to confidence. I am at my most confident when I’m enjoying myself. Events and Adventures allows me the opportunity to look more desirable while having fun. Even if I don’t meet someone at every event, I still get to get out and enjoy an active, social lifestyle.

My next event is the driving range. My only source of stress: choosing between gym shorts, tear-away pants or jeans.