Ten Wicked Vancouver Events for April

Spring is here! Say goodbye to winter and hello to outdoor fun!

Not that our winters are that harsh, but it's nice to shed a few layers and spend more hours in the park. The extra daylight is awesome as well. More hours for after-work fun outside.

Events and Adventures is gearing up for the spring with a packed April calendar. Here are the top ten events I am looking forward to for the month of April:

10. Grass Volleyball

• Finally, outdoor volleyball returns! It might not be beach weather yet, but it's definitely time to leave the gym and head to the park. E&A has two sessions planned for April, one on the 16th and one on the 30th.

9. Tynehead Hike (dog friendly)

• I love walking my friends dog Leroy, so I will definitely be bringing him on the Tynehead hike. They also have an off-leash area to let your four-legged friends enjoy their freedom.

8. Soccer at Trout Lake

• Another big win for the Whitecaps this week! Now it's our turn. Events and Adventures will be playing footie at Trout Lake on April 19th. The co-ed game is tons of fun!

7. Dancing at Pop Opera

• No sense practicing those sweet dance moves if you can't show them off. Pop Opera is a wicked venue, with two unique rooms and the best dance music in the city.

6. Rodney's Oyster Bar

• Something about sharing oysters that puts you in the mood...

5. Drive-In

• A throwback to simpler times. I remember going to the Drive-In with my cousins in Creston, B.C. It was one of my favourite memories from childhood. That night we saw the western "Silverado." Don't know the movie for the April date, but I'm sure it will be a stellar choice. If you don't have car, don't worry, there will be lots of members with vehicles.

4. Pacific Spirit Hike

• At the edge of the UBC, lies Pacific Spirit Park. After Stanley Park, it is definitely my second favourite urban forest to explore. Should be a great hike.

3. Zip Lining

• I've always wanted to zip line and I never had the chance. Events and Adventures has planned a trip to Grouse Mountain to try their Skyride. Should be a blast flying above the trees!

2. Exit Escape Challenge

• My friends were talking about this place last week. It sounded super cool. The premise: you're locked in a maze full of mind puzzles and you have to work as team to get out. It's an awesome group activity that relies on everyone’s combined puzzle skill. Don't miss out on this one. Signup early!!!

1. Kayaking Deer Lake

• I love kayaking! My uncle actually designs kayaks, so I guess you can say it's in my blood. We'll be paddling Deer Lake Park for this adventure, so no white water, but lots of laughs and fresh water spray. Might even try an Eskimo roll.

Infant Anchors

A number of my closest friends became parents this year. It was the year of the baby and it was also the year I witnessed the disappearance of my social clique. 

I love babies - don't get me wrong - but there is something that happens to your friends when they become parents. Suddenly they forget they have a life outside of the child. Their wee one is their primary focus and their personal life fizzles out to nothing. They gain a bundle of joy and you lose a social companion.

This is totally understandable. Bringing up a child takes a massive amount of time and energy; socializing should be secondary. They are now responsible for a little human's life, so they put their own life on hold.

Without sounding too selfish, it kind of stings to lose your friends to parenthood. You are suddenly without a hiking partner, your weekly dinner date is forgotten and your relationship counselor takes a maternity leave. You are still the best of friends, but it's hard to secure quality time together.

This is the situation I found myself in about six months ago. I was overjoyed by the little ones that were popping up, but at the same time, my weekend activities became non-existent. I developed an undesired affinity with my couch.

So I took some initiative. I joined Events andAdventures and got out of the house. I signed up for an assortment of events and had some wicked times with a wide mix of Vancouver singles. I went tubing, attended a cooking class, had a night out at the theatre, went bowling, laughed my face off at two different comedy nights, worked on my golf swing and skated with some beautiful ladies at the Robson skating rink.

Now I am the envy of my friends. I still make time to hang out with them, but the E&A social club has given me an excuse to celebrate my freedom and create a whole new social network.

I know there will be diapers aplenty in my future, but for now, it's all about having fun with other active singles.

Lafflines are Sexy

I'm a huge fan of comedy. Not like the Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell popcorn flicks, but the actual craft of preforming comedy. I listen to a number of podcasts each week that feature current comedians who discuss their art and showcase new characters they've created. If you're in to this kind of thing, definitely check out Scott Aukerman's "Comedy Bang Bang."

So being a comedy fan, I was super stoked to see that E&A had included a comedy night on their March calendar of events. I had attended the comedy show at Havana's back in November, and it was hilarious!

This month's comedy outing was at Lafflines, in New Westminster. A bit of a trek, since I live downtown, but the venue was a block from the SkyTrain, so no problems getting there.

I kinda thought it would be held in a bar-like atmosphere, but Lafflines runs their shows at the Columbia Theatre's, Baby Grand Room. It's sort of a throwback to the dinner-and-a-show days; The venue had a definite Rat Pack vide.

Thinking we were headed to a bar, I was casually dressed - a bit too casually. I should have paid more attention to the calendar post. They always have an appropriate attire box, but I was in a rush and forgot to check it before leaving the house. But it wasn't really an issue.

When I arrived, I was surprised to find that Events and Adventures had reserved three large tables at the very front of the room, right next to the stage. It was a full turnout, but being a comedy show and fearing ridicule, the seats closest to the mic were the last to go.

I sat down at one of the tables and immediately started talking with the group. There were few members I knew from other events, but most were new and everybody introduced himself or herself. We ordered drinks and food and the laughter started early.

Forty-five minutes later, our host for the evening, Alycia Cooper, came to the stage. She had flown in from Baltimore to do a number of shows over the weekend. She was black and did a number of jokes about how easy it was for the club's owner to pick her up at the airport (since Vancouver's African-American demographic is a little thin). She also mentioned, a number of times, how she gets mistaken for Oprah.

Alycia informed us that the comic lineup for the night would consist of a mix of semi-professionals and amateurs. Amateur night can sometimes be a train wreck, so having some semi-pros there was a smart move.

The comics that followed all got laughs, but some more than others. I think in total, there were about a dozen performers. My favourite was a young amateur named River. He was super awkward, but in a hilarious sort of way. He looked kind of like a skinny bearded snowboard bum. His jokes were refreshingly raw and there was something about his timing that made him standout.

Some of the other comedians were pretty vulgar, notably 'Dirty Uncle' and an older lady who had a mouth like a sailor. Some used notes and some had more polished routines.

One young comic made a few masturbation jokes and then commented that his mother had come down to the show. "Well mom," he said, "I guess you now know why I took all those twenty minute showers." But Alycia, came back with the best line: "Son, there isn't a mother out there that doesn't know what you boys do during those twenty minute showers." 

That brought down the house.

I ended up taking the SkyTrain home with another member and we laughed the whole way.

The next morning I butchered at least ten of the jokes telling them to my friends. I don't think I am gifted with the craft.

Top Ten Creepy Elements of Tinder

Online dating is weird enough as it is, but a new app has taken it to the next level. 'Tinder' combines all the shallow subjectivity of Hot-or-Not with the all of the random pervs you find on Chatroulette. The creepy hook-up tool proves how absurd the world of online dating has become.

Personally, I like to meet people in casual settings and see if there is a spark. I would never agree to go out with someone after viewing a random photo and texting briefly. Gross.

To show you just how absurd the app really is, I compiled this list of the Top Ten Creepy Elements of Tinder:

10. Judgement Night

• The app asks you judge people on five photos from their Facebook profile. You have two choices: 'X' or '<3'

9. Facebook Friends

• To increase the creepiness, the app demands full access to your Facebook 'Friend' and 'Like' lists. It then shares the common elements with your potential matches. "Yes, we're both friends with Joe from Squamish."

8. Distance Between

• A stalkers delight. The app also uses your cell location to tell your matches how close you are. Now they have your photo, a list of common friends and a general idea of where you live.

7. Night Owls

• The 3 am, "so how you doing," text is always a sure sign of a creeper.

6. Sadness Confirmed

• Over use the app and you receive this message: "It doesn't look like there's anyone new around you." Subtle...

5. Finding Your Ex

• Then there's the chance of coming across pictures of your ex.

4. Group Photo

• What? Who? Which one is it? This is a case for Carmen San Diego.

3. Second Question

• First Question: "So, how are things?" Second Question: "Want to bump?" The creepers have very limited conversational skills. That, or they like to get right to the point.

2. Hijacking

• The app stays open on your phone. Leave your cell on your desk and by the time you come back from the washroom, your co-workers have lined up three dates with the a warlock, a paste-eater and some dude named 'Muscles on Muscles.'

1. All in the Family

• And the ultimate creep factor: being matched with a relative. Shudder…..

Keep it real and meet real people at real events. Try Events and Adventures and eliminate the creeps.